Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Tuesday November 22, 2005

Another day. As I look out the window at my own reflection set against the darkness beyond it does not feel like a whole 24 hours since I last posted. Shite where does the time go?

For some bizarre reason both Ian and I slept right through last night. That very rarely happens. Mainly due to excessive snorage on my part! Anyway, woke up to Classic FM's dulcet tones feeling remarkably rested. Got up, got sorted and headed out the door.

Thankfully, the heavy fog that enclosed our street last night in a mist (I swore I saw a man in a top hat and cape lingering in the lamplight)had lifted! It was still bloody cold though.

Got to work after a quick stop at Prêt for my daily strong-skinny-cap and a chocolate croissant (which is not a daily occurrence!).

Hotch potch day at work where I actually accomplished things. Not sure what those things actually are but I feel productive.

I have had a hilarious, ongoing email exchange with my mate Anita who works in our London office about shop assistants.

There are 2 types of shop assistants here in the UK. There is the apathetic I'd rather-be-elsewhere shop assistant who does not give a toss and ignores you or, you get the one who lingers at your elbow frowning as she suspects you are about to steal something.

We are thinking of getting business cards printed that say STOP! I AM NOT A THIEF!!

Actually, here is the exchange which has still not petered out at this point...

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:40
To: Claudine
Subject:

I was in boots when you called I think - no reception on my phone in there. I tried the perfume called Echo - quite nice. The girls at our Benefit counter are unbelievably pushy and I go nowhere near them now!

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:44
To: Anita
Subject:

I had a green-eyed (I'm talking emerald green eye-shadowed monster from hell) get into my personal space at the Red Earth counter today. I said 'no, just looking thanks'. She didn't move from my elbow and asked 'would you like to trying anything?' I repeated 'no thanks, just looking' and eventually she shoved off. Can't bear that!! They either ignore you, look disdainfully at you or attach themselves to your hip!

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:47
To: Claudine
Subject:

I hate they way they follow you around expecting you to steal - I always feel guilty and end up trying to show them I am not a thief, next time they hover I am going to loudly discuss my bad case of shingles.

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:52
To: Anita
Subject:

I ignore them mostly. If they think I'm thieving that's their problem. I guess so many people do steal they have to be vigilant. Makes you wonder what they must think of you eh?

I was looking at costume jewellery in House of Fraser today and the visual display woman was hovering so I tried on every single ring in the tray with my plastic bag hanging from same hand I was putting rings on. She almost frothed at the mouth!

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 15:08
To: Claudine
Subject:

I'm going to steal something one day - just to check if they are really paying attention! I might regret it though once I have been arrested, charged and handcuffed.

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 15:16
To: Anita
Subject:

I think the regret will kick in when your one phone call is to your husband.

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 15:32
To: Claudine
Subject:

Oh god yes! I would want to be chatting to everyone and would only get one call!! I just sneaked back to Boots to buy a lippie I saw earlier - shopgirl came and stood RIGHT next to me and tidied the nail polishes. I AM NOT A THIEF!

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 15:39
To: Anita
Subject:

We should get little business cards made out that say 'I AM NOT A THIEF' and hand them to shop assistants who encroach on your personal space.

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:00
To: Claudine
Subject:

Mine would say:

'Thanks very much for standing on top of me and assuming I will steal anything I am looking at. Back off shop girl.'

Or is that just nasty ?

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:09
To: Anita
Subject:

I just had to explain to a colleague why I laughed out loud. Again. He didn't agree that shop assistants hang around him assuming he'd steal. Maybe its just you and I...

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:11
To: Claudine
Subject:

Perhaps it's just focused on the theft of cosmetics ??

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:12
To: Anita
Subject:

Perhaps.
Perhaps.
Perhaps.

I love that word.

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:19
To: Claudine
Subject:

You can shorten it to Praps or drag it out Puuuuuuurrrrrrrhaps

I need to get out more.

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:25
To: Anita
Subject:

I need to get out more.

::raises eyebrow and reaches for the anti-psychotics::

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:47
To: Claudine
Subject:

I need to get out more.

::Raises glass and reaches for lippie::

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:49
To: Anita
Subject:

She needs to get out more

Her friends whisper while watching her smear the wrong shade lippie across her forehead.

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 16:51
To: Claudine
Subject:

'bet she stole that' they whisper.

From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 17:00
To: Anita
Subject:

As the muttering ensues around her she reaches into her voluminous handbag and drags out a carton of milk. Carefully opening it she...

[By this stage I figured this was not going to end so I left my turn open ended. Anita's response...]

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 17:16
To: Claudine
Subject:

…proceeded to launch her mini missile carefully disguised as a pint of Rachel's Organic milk, she hit the little red button on the side of the rocket and counted down the seconds until lift off...

[If this takes on epic proportions I may have to condense it. Or maybe I'll just see where it leads. Or perhaps I will simply relegate it to the trash. We'll see.]

I think that's enough for today! I must fly as I have a cake to bake for my friend Catherine's daughter, Raili as it is her birthday this weekend and, well, I said I would.

Its a wonder I get any work done at all.

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